Sex and Age – Secrets of Sexual Health and Happiness

Nowadays people lead an active lifestyle even at the elderly age, they travel and continue to do what used to bring them pleasure at a younger age, including sex. Love conquers all ages and intimate relationship is a logical continuation to romantic infatuation.

Men and women equally want to continue having full value relationships at any age. Healthy sexual life favorably affects all aspects of life including physical shape and self-esteem. Even though television and movies persistently persuade us that sex is something only teenagers and youngsters engage in, to put it mildly, it does not represent the reality. The need for sex does not go away with age. It is impossible to outgrow the need for love, emotional closeness and intimacy. The majority of people have sexual fantasies even at 80 and 90 years of age.

Indeed, sex when you are 80 differs from sex when you are 20, however it does not mean that sexual life at an older age cannot bring satisfaction and pleasure. Understanding the changes that take place in your body or in your partner’s body with age will help you prepare for some possible sexual issues.

First, there are the natural age changes. As we all know, our organism ages and our body wears out, and these natural age changes may influence our sexual life. And although most often we are talking about physical changes, we should not disregard the psychological changes as well.

Let’s talk about the physical changes first. Testosterone controls the sexual attraction in both men and women. The bodies of most aging men and women produce the necessary amount of testosterone to sustain their interest in sex. And although with age some of the aspects of sex that we have grown accustomed to become difficult, these changes are a great stimulus to try out new positions and techniques.

The physical changes in a woman’s body that happen with age are mainly related to menopause and the lowering of the hormone estrogen’s level. With age the production of the vaginal lubricant when sexually aroused takes more time. The vagina loses its resilience and elasticity. All of this makes the sexual intercourse less pleasant or even painful. Besides, women may feel a burning sensation during sex or develop bleeding after the sexual intercourse is over. To stimulate the natural production of the vaginal lubricant, it is necessary to engage in the foreplay. Another solution for this problem is using a water based lubricant (for example K-Y jelly), using a cream containing estrogen or going through an estrogen-replacing therapy. Regular sex helps maintain the normal production of the vaginal lubricant and the elasticity of the vagina. Long abstinence can cause the vagina to lose its elasticity therefore it will take time to stretch it for the penis. You should discuss this problem with your partner and ask him to move slowly in order to reduce your painful sensations.

Now let’s move on to psychological changes. Maintaining the ability to engage in sexual activities at an elderly age depends not only on your body but also on your consciousness. If you are ashamed of your sexual needs, anxiety and stress can negatively affect the ability to experience sexual arousal. The age related changes in your appearance may influence your emotional openness and ability to enter into an intimate relationship. The more wrinkles and grey hairs you notice, the lower your self-esteem becomes. You feel unattractive. The negative self-image suppresses the sexual drive since you feel unworthy of sexual attention from your partner and do not trust him/her.

Stress and anxiety due to sexual behavior and potential failures in bed may provoke sexual weakness (impotence) in men and frigidity in women. Do not rush things and you may be able to avoid the emotional pressure.

Discuss this sore point with your partner; tell them about your emotions and worries. His or her support will help you regain confidence in yourself.

So how can you improve your sexual life with age? A lot of elderly people consider their intimate life fuller than the one they used to have when they were younger. They are convinced that with age sex only becomes better similarly to good wine. In order to improve your sexual life you need to discuss any problems or fantasies you may have more often and introduce changes to your sexual repertoire.

You should expand your view on sex. Sex is not merely a number of physical exercises in order to achieve pleasure. Sex does not come down to sexual intercourse. With age many people start to appreciate the communication before and after sex, which makes the intimacy itself way brighter. Petting and touching may become a great alternative to sexual intercourse, even the simplest embrace may cause an orgasm. Consider erotic massage, masturbation or oral sex.

Communicate more with your partner. Nothing draws you as close as communication. Discuss the changes that you are going through with your partner in order to understand how you can get rid of any discomforts and make sex even better. Perhaps, the solution will be a new position or a new type of sexual communication, for example massage. Ask your partner about his/her needs and fantasies and think about how you can satisfy them. The discussion of sex itself is very arousing and can become an excellent foreplay.

Introduce changes to your sexual routine. Simple changes can improve your intimate life. Move sex to a time when you feel the most surge of energy. Try having sex in the morning when you are full of strength after a good night sleep instead of postponing it until the end of the day when you are drained and exhausted. Since you will need more time to get aroused, set aside more time for preparation of the romantic environment, for example a romantic dinner, a party for just the two of you or dancing. Try out the new sex positions, do not just stick to the” missionary” one. Look for the position that will be comfortable both for you and your partner.

Control your expectations. If you did not have sex very often when you were young do not expect to become a sex machine at an older age. Perhaps, when you were young the expression of intimacy for you was something else such as an interesting talk and communication. If that’s the case, then the same order of things will remain as you get older. Couples that used to love to have sex when they were younger are unlikely to stop liking having sex as they get older.

Take care of yourself. Healthy eating and regular physical exercise will help maintain you in good shape. This in turn will help maintain your readiness for sex at any age. Keep to a balanced diet rich in fruit and vegetables. Exercise at least for half an hour a day every day of the week. Drink less alcohol, it lowers both male and female sexual potency. Drugs, for example marijuana and cocaine, also negatively affect your sexual function.

If you do not have a sexual partner, this does not mean that you should give up on sex altogether. More than half of elderly people over 65 years of age in the US are single. It is still possible to find new love at this age or simply set out on a romantic adventure which will lead to bed. Women live longer than men therefore there are more single women and finding a partner at an elderly age is not that easy. Try to attend places and events where you can meet people of your age. It is never too late to start a relationship.

When you do start new sexual relationships do not forget about safe sex. A lot of older people neglect it because they are sure that they are not in danger of getting infected with an STD including AIDS. In spite of this opinion, AIDS is not the disease of the young people. Among those who suffer from AIDS in the US more than 10% of people are over 50. Every person engaging in sexual activities, regardless of their age, can get infected with an STD. Either do not change your partner or practice safe sex with a condom. Discuss the possibility of AIDS tests with your partner. Older people rarely undergo such examinations.

And finally talk to you doctor. Often elderly people feel ashamed to discuss sex with their doctor. However, such communication can help you better understand the age changes of your body and mind as well as their influence of your sexual activity.